Walking on Eggshells by Jane Isay

Author:Jane Isay [Isay, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780767929387
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2008-04-08T03:00:00+00:00

It doesn’t always work this well. Since a stepparent is new to the family, there are no historical ties to compensate for the tensions caused by small acts of inconsideration. New stepparents may not have patience for the demands of grown kids. These young adults don’t look like children to them, and they are not viewed through the lens of memory. One man described his new wife’s grown sons as “the mammals,” noticing how, when they came home with their friends, they flopped down all over the house. New spouses can feel just as jealous and possessive as grown kids, putting the biological parent in a difficult spot. It is much worse if the grown children didn’t approve of the divorce, or are still mourning the death of a parent. As new adults who feel entitled to have a say in their parent’s love life (which is not always fair), they have no problem expressing their feelings, loud and clear. To make the situation even more delicate, grown children resent being told what to do by the new relative—even more than they resent advice from the natural parent. Grandchildren are a great boon, because everybody starts that relationship from scratch. But in the early stages of a new marriage, it is sometimes very difficult to preserve the new relationship without breaking up the original family.

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